SCAM ALERT? Lovense Toys Review

You may have seen the fun little pink tails sticking out of sexy camgirl panties all around the web. But…

Have you heard of the magic of “Teledildonics”?

If you consult the tech giant magazine Wired or culture giant Rolling Stones, they will tell you all about this new revolutionary way to have sex over the Internet, meanwhile heavily promoting one little unassuming company known as Lovense. Little do their readers know about Real Touch Interactive (once an amazing company that I worked with and had an opportunity to sign for them at EXXXOTICA Florida in 2013), now defunct due to a very loosely interpreted “peer connectivity over the Internet” patent violation. The method of activating and controlling your partner’s toy with your own has been done and perfected by RTi years before Lovense came on the scene. What sets Lovense apart is that is utterly fails at mostly everything it has tried.

This in-depth review of Lovense pitfalls will be focusing primarily on its two biggest toys: Lush (an interactive vibrator) and Nora (and interactive Rabbit dildo to be paired with male sleeve toy Max). Lovense offers a mobile app to connect long-distance between Max & Nora or to control the vibrator activity, called Lovense Remote or Lovense Connect, as well as computer version called Lovense Browser. If that isn’t confusing enough, there even is a Lovense Extension for Chrome and Firefox but I, for one, am not comfortable with the wording on what permissions this extension is allowed.

Some cam sites have partnered directly with Lovense which allows the browser extension to connect and control vibrations of your connected toys. Some sites opted out of integration, chiefly among them the cam giant Streamate, although without giving an explicit reason why.

Functionality: Beware!

There are serious flaws with the functionality of all Lovense app connections to toys. Android app is practically unworkable, in my personal experience and according to some user reviews, because after connecting Lush vibrator with Sound-Activated feature, the app continually activates sound and vibration even on the lowest possible sensitivity setting and in a completely soundproof space. The app ratings make it painfully obvious that something is off.

There were rumors that the app sound feature works just fine on iPhones, but their reviews and app rating aren’t doing too well either.

The very central attraction of using Lovense toys is completely inaccessible.

The second biggest, and in my opinion the most egregious lack of functionality, is the difficulty connecting with Nora – Max for actual interactive sessions with a client. Lovense strongly pushes affiliate sales, mind you, with pre-made sexy banner templates and links ready to send out and sell as many Max toys to your online clients as possible, with the promise of easy, interactive fun. The problem begins when you actually try to connect the two toys or even add any user to your contacts list. Most of the negative reviews in both app stores illustrate this problem. Personally, I had both experiences – a member who was unable to connect to the point of frustration and wanting a refund, as well as an interactive show with a member after many months of attempting to connect but the experience wasn’t nearly as interactive as we were all led to believe.

Third, the toys themselves are quite expensive, ranging from $99 to $190 per toy. And they offer absolutey no promotional products for cam models, regardless of how big of an influencer you may be, while their entire social media persona is geared towards being a cam girl toy. Lack of response from developers to troubled reviews from many, many cam models is more telling of their actual priorities.

Fun Fact:
Lovense will not refund any toy purchases as they fall under hygiene no-return policy. If you want to try it out, pay for it with PayPal and you may have a case for a refund under “not working as promised” refund clause.

Support: Customer support sucks.

There is no phone or chat option, only email with some random off-shore customer support service with form emails that are barely one step removed from “have you tried plugging it in?”. Meanwhile, unless you reach $100 minimum on your affiliate sales (which net $15 per toy purchase – for context, RTi paid $75 per referral). You will not get any of that commission paid out and the only choices left are either suck it up, with a terribly bitter taste of profit loss and letting down your clients who bought a very expensive toy because of you, OR continue scamming other users into buying Max until you hit the payout minimum. Neither choice sounds like a very good option.

Yes, the toys are comfortable and vibrate quite well. But if you are looking for an interactive vibrator, Lovense certainly gets an F in that department.

Just Kidding.

-Cherry Sen-Pi