How do you tell the cute guy you’ve had a crush on for a while that you take your clothes off in front of a webcam? As cam models who have chosen to enter the dating scene, we must determine how much information to divulge to potential sweethearts. This can be a gut-wrenching and nervous experience. The social stigma of this line of work can lead to misunderstandings, hurt feelings, jealousy, and judgement.
When it comes to dating as a webcam model, we should proceed with caution and listen to intuition.
Sometimes a model’s own feelings about the job are reflected and amplified in those she tries to date. If she is visibly embarrassed or ashamed when bringing up the conversation, her date will pick up on it and react accordingly. I’m not ashamed or embarrassed about my profession, actually quite the opposite. I’ve spent years learning how to be better at what I do, and lately my fan base and my bank account have been reflecting that. I’m proud of having been in various top model lists, and I want to share that with someone. I’m happy every time I get a four-digit paycheck, and I want the guy I’m seeing to know I can take care of myself. I’m proud of my membership site, my model rank, and the number of regular customers who have funded me for years.
Let your feelings of pride and happiness shine beyond the job description and your date is more likely to have a positive response.
Many models agree that they won’t talk about their profession on the first date. So if you’ve already been on a date or two with an open-minded person, you may decide not to invest any more time without being honest about your employment. Hopefully, you have chosen to date a rational person who will listen to you and allow you to explain.
To pick a venue, decide what type of person he or she is and where they would feel more comfortable. For example, if the guy has a quiet and introverted personality, pick his home or yours to have this conversation. If the guy is social, outgoing, and feels comfortable basically anywhere, feel free to tell him in public. Keep in mind that everyone is different, so use your best judgement based on the individual. You might find that you’re out on your third perfect date and start the conversation when it feels natural.
Okay, you’ve picked your location and already know the topic. So how do you start the conversation and how do you pick the words? It boils down to the feeling you want to convey about webcam modeling. Proceed with confidence. Start the conversation with a straightforward and honest statement, like “I am a cam model” or “I am a professional web model.” Avoid long preambles about how you originally started camming. Many people have an idea of what that means, but an interested and engaged date will ask follow-up questions to clarify your job description. Don’t expect the worst, because many guys may even be excited that you choose to spend your free time with him.
A word of warning on the subject of income:
As a cam model entering the dating scene, you are not yet splitting income and expenses with a partner. So, there is no reason to disclose how much money you actually make. It is tempting to brag about making several hundred dollars in a couple of hours, but resist. Unless you know your date well this can be a dangerous situation. I’ve come across too many models whose boyfriends take advantage of these seemingly easy paychecks or even guilt-trip them into sharing the wealth. I’ve been in relationships like this myself. This is a toxic relationship with a burden of a boyfriend instead of a partnership with two adults.
If your date asks how much money you make, just mention that it pays the bills and leaves you with time to enjoy life.
Being a cam girl in the dating world of 20-somethings isn’t always easy. Many men don’t make it past the first date with me because I feel out their attitude toward this type of work.
Being a webcam model means being independent and this is intimidating to many people.
When you have decided to tell your date what you do, pick a spot that will make both of you comfortable. Once you start the conversation, be confident and straightforward. Don’t share any more details than he or she asks for. Following these basic guidelines should result in a productive conversation in which you can be honest about your life outside of dating. Good luck!
Interesting that you failed to touch on the very real subject of potential intimacy issues….I can’t image many guys being cool with their girlfriend taking their clothes off and practicing their DJ skills & everything else this entails (ie. correspondence/media sharing, tip activated vibrators – hope he doesn’t mind other people getting you off – etc etc etc)
Very empowering article though, as it should be right? I mean at the end of the day, sex work is just like any other 9-5 out there – only totally different in almost every way – and shame on him for thinking it’s anything but.
Thank you so much for this post!