Over the last few weeks, OCamgirl has rallied against the stigma associated with working in the adult entertainment industry. And rightfully so! Sex-negative attitudes and sexist stereotypes are a major burden on anyone working in the business, and they should be challenged and conquered at every opportunity. They are bullshit but, like it or not, they exist.
Not everyone’s situation is the same. What about people who can’t challenge the ones who would judge them? Or aren’t in the position to make their careers public? We have our freedom, of course, and it’s always going to be a choice. But that doesn’t mean the right choice for every person is going to be the same. Today I want to talk about the people who still need an alibi and offer some suggestions for a good cover story.
Who Needs an Alibi?
A couple situations that might warrant a cover story:
You have young children.
This is probably the most common reason you might keep your work on the down-low. First of all, your 7 year old probably won’t understand what you do – and you can imagine how their young minds might try to describe it to other kids or their teachers – so keeping it in the dark will probably save both of you a lot of headaches. You should also consider keeping teachers, coaches, and administrators in the dark about it as well, since their possible prejudices could affect your child’s academic or extracurricular life; this is especially true if you live in a more conservative community.
You have a very religious family.
Imagine you were raised by a Mormon family; you grew up to decide that you didn’t want to be a part of the church, which your family has fortunately accepted. Still, you are very close to your parents and siblings, and they make up nearly your whole safety net and support network. Were they to find out that you’re a webcam model – a sex worker – they may go as far as to disown you in order to send a message to young people in the family or community that your behaviour is unacceptable. It’s worse still if you live in the most conservative places on earth, such as Saudi Arabia. Almost nobody can know what you do because your punishment could be as severe as ACTUAL DEATH.
Of course these are just two possible scenarios, and whether to keep your work private or not is entirely your decision.
So, What Makes For a Good Cover Story?
Your “fake job” should be:
Nothing will unravel a lie quicker than scrutiny, and the more that people ask you about your job, the more you’ll have to lie. After awhile it can be very hard to keep your story straight.
Something you’re familiar with.
You should be able to discuss it for a few minutes. Even if your job isn’t an interesting one, people may engage you about it as a matter of manners. If you have an educational or practical background in something, it would be useful to incorporate it into your cover story.
Your cover story should explain the amount of freedom you have. After all, not everybody gets to make their own schedule!
As many of us are well aware, you can earn a pretty good living as a webcam model. To justify this, consider the earnings potential of your fake job and whether doing that job can explain your income or lifestyle.
A Few Ideas For the Creatively Empty
If you have a background in technical or creative writing, this one is great. Bonus: topics vary wildly, so any knowledge base is applicable!
Perfect if you know a bit of coding, or have a history in website development. The only big possible downside is that other people with that area of expertise are more likely to want to talk about it with you, since it isn’t boring to *them*.
Remote Tech Support
If you have a strong grasp on technology, this will work for you. The downside is that you may have to stay up to date on current tech.
This one is a bit specialized, but not something that requires any real upkeep. If you know about marketing, you’ll basically always know about marketing.
This one is super boring but requires you be able to type quickly. Big plus is that you’re not allowed to talk about the data you’re entering as it may be sensitive!
Each of these is profoundly boring, allows you to work on your own time, can earn a decent-to-good income, and requires a particular set of skills to do. Pick one, or come up with something that suits your strengths.
For Those Who Need To Lie: We Salute You
In an ideal society, there would be no ignominy in working as an adult entertainer. That is a world we’re only going to achieve by fighting back against shame, stereotypes, and sex-negativity. Yet, thanks to these same attitudes and beliefs, not everybody is in the position to tell everyone about their careers. It’s as much for them as ourselves that we try to change the way that this industry is viewed and we need to remember to respect others’ decisions about how, to whom, and to what extent they want to reveal their involvement in the adult entertainment world. For those that need to stay low-key, I hope this advice is of some help to you. Stay strong.