The Truth About Meaningful Camgirl-Client Relationships

People ask me if I feel bad for the wives of my viewers—viewers who spend a lot of money to act out secret fantasies with me. My morality and ethical compass are often questioned due to widespread stigmas around sex workers, which exist partially because of my clients—assumptions fly about the types of men my clients must be to purchase the services of a camgirl.

I am a fetish/femdom flavor of camgirl, so those under my wing are a collection of the most depraved, ornate, and truly blasphemous motherfuckers you’ve ever seen. These characteristics, however, are expressed in a safe, consensual, and private space. That is the place where I know them—when they are mine, in that moment.

I do not judge my clients for their choices of entertainment, just as I do not care to be judged for what I do as a career—though I fully expect it.

I’d like to provide some insight into my clients, how I tend to them as consumers, and what happens when it goes beyond sexual gratification into an even more personal space.

Camgirl Clients Aren’t One-Size-Fits-All

My clients include men who travel for work and Skype with me in hotel rooms around the world. I also have men who take lunch breaks with me in their offices. I’ve had clients who have had to log out quickly when their wives got home unexpectedly, and I’ve had just as many who don’t have wives or significant others, who simply have money to burn for a rare bit of sexual attention.

Though I do get some men who proposition me to meet in the real world, they are rare. Most clients realize they will only have me online, and I do not lead them to think otherwise. Many clients have no interest in doing so, which is why they are soliciting a camgirl and not an escort.

Camming Provides Deep Connections for Clients

[tweetthis twitter_handles=”@arcanaunleashed @ocamgirl” hidden_hashtags=”#sexwork”]At times, there are deeply personal aspects to the exchange of camming. [/tweetthis]

At times, there are deeply personal aspects to the exchange of camming. I exist in the moment, and I don’t go beyond that into more personal topics unless a client wishes it. I have found that when men do decide to divulge more, it’s usually to request advice about their romantic and/or sexual lives—something they need assurance about, would be too sheepish to see a professional counsellor about, or something they’d be scared to communicate to their wives.

Though “entertainer,” not “mental health professional,” is in my job description, I find myself taking extra time to comfort men who break down crying after exploring their sexuality with me. I see a lot of people scared to be themselves or deviate from the norm, feeling that their kinkiness is a curse that will prevent them from leading a “normal life.” I spend a lot of time convincing lonely, single men of their worthiness, attempting to empower them to be okay with their sexuality and honest about it with consenting partners. I refer them to meet-ups in their areas and share stories about successful kinky couples I know.

[tweetthis twitter_handles=”@arcanaunleashed @ocamgirl” hidden_hashtags=”#sexwork”]I spend a lot of time convincing lonely, single men of their worthiness.[/tweetthis]

What About Clients’ Significant Others?

I operate under the assumption that my clients can manage their lives outside of the time we spend together, just as I manage mine. I am not a babysitter of grown men; I trust that they have their shit locked down, and I begin from there. Camgirl services are entertainment, so most people purchase my attention to escape or take a break from their lives, and I can think of far more damaging ways to do so.

I am simply an image on a screen to them—no flesh-to-flesh contact, no risk of spreading disease or unwanted pregnancy; you will not see my lipstick on his collar or smell my perfume on his clothes. I mean no offense to my sex worker sisters who deal with flesh-on-flesh, or to club dancers whose body glitter rubs off on your husband’s jacket. I am purely virtual—a sexual interaction on a webcam. Camgirls are as detached an infidelity as can be conceived.

You ladies have your husbands fearful of you, and perhaps it is for good reason; however, I always encourage my clients to speak honestly to their partners and to work to keep communication open. As selfish as a wife may view her husband’s camgirl trysts, she would likely never suspect that she often becomes the topic of the meeting in very endearing ways. At times, I feel like I am a one-sided marriage counsellor.

Camming Can Be Healing

If I can help one person to be fine with themselves and their sexuality, then I feel that I have done an important deed for humanity. I wonder how things would have gone for them if they didn’t “meet” me, as they would likely never divulge that part of themselves to anyone else.

Most of the time, camming is what it is—dude needs to blow his load, needs stimuli to do so, and I fit his preference at the time. I have, however, been surprised to see how lonely and frustrated a lot of men are, and how honest and willing they are to admit that to me and ask for advice to better themselves or their relationships.

 
[tweetthis twitter_handles=”@ArcanaUnleashed @OCamgirl” hidden_hashtags=”#sexwork #camgirlsunite”]I always viewed being a sex worker akin to being a healer.[/tweetthis]
While I always viewed being a sex worker akin to being a healer, I never imagined how related the two could be. Though there are a lot of stigmas about sex workers and their clients, this is part of a much larger issue in which people feel guilty or ashamed about natural urges and sexuality. I am proud to be someone who helps to alleviate all of that, if only for a moment.